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N4Lesson notes · Sep 30, 2026

I don''t care in Japanese: どうでもいい, 別べつに, and the なんでもいい that''s actually friendly

English uses one phrase, "I don't care," for two opposite moods: "that doesn't matter to me" (cold) and "anything is fine with me" (warm). Japanese uses different words for each — どうでもいい and 別べつに for the cold one, なんでもいい and どちらでもいい for the soft one.

This is a classic trap. A learner says "I don't care what we eat" and picks どうでもいい because it's the dictionary answer, and the whole table goes quiet. Learn the split first, and everything else in this article is just choosing the right temperature.

The basics

How do you say "I don't care" in Japanese?

It depends on which "I don't care" you mean. If you mean "I'm not interested, it's nothing to me," the standard word is どうでもいい. If you mean "I'm happy with whatever you choose," you want なんでもいい or どちらでもいい. Same English, different Japanese, different feelings.

Expression Cold or soft? Typical situation
どうでもいい Cold Something doesn't matter to you at all; dismissing a topic
別べつに Cold (or flat) Brushing off "what's wrong?" or "do you like it?"
関係かんけいない Cold "It has nothing to do with me" — closing a conversation
知しらない Cold "Don't ask me" — refusing to engage
興味きょうみない Cold Not interested in a topic or person
なんでもいい Soft (tone-dependent) Choosing food, a place, a plan — "anything works"
どちらでもいい / どっちでもいい Soft Two options on the table, you have no preference
お任まかせします Soft, polite "I'll leave it to you" — restaurants, business, deferring to a host
構かまいません Soft, polite "I don't mind" when someone asks if something is a problem

What does どうでもいい mean?

どうでもいい literally means "however it is, it's fine" — and in practice it means "it makes no difference to me," usually with the sting of "and I don't want to hear about it."

そんなこと、どうでもいい。 — I don't care about that. (cold, dismissive, plain form) どうでもいいよ、そんなの。 — Whatever, that stuff doesn't matter. (casual, shrugging it off)

You can use it about a thing ("that topic doesn't matter") but be careful pointing it at a person's feelings or a person's plan. Said to a friend who just told you something they're excited about, it is a slap.

What does 別べつに mean?

別べつに is the word people use to brush off a question. Asked "What's wrong?" or "Do you mind?", a person answers 別べつに。 — "Nothing / Not really," often with a flat voice that means the opposite of nothing.

Grammatically, 別べつに normally comes with a negative: 別べつに〜ない, "not particularly." In conversation the negative part is often dropped, so the bare 別べつに carries the whole "nothing in particular" meaning by itself. The other reading of the same word — 別べつ as "different, separate" — is covered in different in Japanese: 違ちがう vs 別べつ, if you want the word's other life.

どうしたの? — What's wrong? (caring question) 別べつに。 — Nothing. (flat, closing the door on the topic) 別べつに、どっちでもいいけど。 — I don't really care either way, though. (casual, a little sulky)

Are 関係かんけいない and 知しらない also "I don't care"?

They cover a nearby idea: "that isn't my business" and "I refuse to deal with this."

私わたしには関係かんけいない。 — It has nothing to do with me. (cold, ends the conversation) 知しらない! — I don't know! / Don't ask me! (casual, can be a cold refusal)

Bare 知しらない can be a plain "I don't know," or a cold brush-off, depending on the voice. That split is explained in わからない vs 知しらない.

Beyond the basics

How do you say "anything is fine" without sounding rude?

Use なんでもいい or どちらでもいい. Both mean "any option is fine with me," and both are the friendly meaning of "I don't care."

何なに食たべたい? — What do you want to eat? (casual question) なんでもいいよ。 — Anything's fine. (casual, warm, easygoing) どっちでもいいよ。 — Either one is fine. (casual, when two options are on the table)

The なん in なんでも is the question word 何なに plus でも, which means "even ~" and turns a question word into "any-." If that pattern is new, Japanese question words covers the base.

なんでもいいよ vs なんでもいい: does the よ matter?

Yes, mostly for temperature. The sentence-ending よ adds a small, friendly push: "seriously, I'm easy." Bare なんでもいい, especially said flat and quickly, can come across as bored or as "I'm not going to think about this." It is not always rude, and the tone of voice decides a lot. As a safe default for a learner, add よ (or use どちらでもいいですよ) when you mean it warmly.

なんでもいいよ、あなたが決きめて。 — Anything's fine, you decide. (casual, generous) なんでもいい。 — Whatever. (casual, can sound flat or bored depending on the voice)

How do you say it politely?

Two good options. お任まかせします means "I'll leave it to you," and it is polite and warm — it says you trust the other person's choice. 構かまいません means "I don't mind," an answer to "is it okay if...?"

お任まかせします。 — I'll leave it to you. (polite, restaurants, business, when deferring to a host) 私わたしはどちらでも構かまいません。 — Either way is fine with me. (polite, formal-leaning)

What is the difference between 〜でいい and 〜がいい?

This is the trap that catches intermediate learners. 〜がいい picks something: "I'd like that one." 〜でいい accepts something: "that one will do." The でいい shape carries a shade of "settling," as if better options existed and you're not fussing.

ビールがいい。 — I want a beer. (casual, an active choice) ビールでいい。 — A beer's fine. (casual, easygoing, but can sound like settling)

Neither is wrong. In a relaxed setting, ビールでいい is a normal, low-fuss order. But if someone has just cooked you dinner and asks what you want to drink, answering with でいい can suggest "this isn't what I wanted, but okay." When you want to show enthusiasm, use がいい. If you would rather leave the choice to the cook, 何なんでも大丈夫だいじょうぶです is warmer, and anything in Japanese explains why 大丈夫だいじょうぶ sounds happy with anything while a flat 何なんでもいい can sound uninterested.

How does this sound in anime?

You will hear the cold group constantly. 別べつに is the classic move of the tsundere or the sulky rival: "I did it for no reason" / "It's nothing" in a voice that says it is something. どうでもいい fits the burned-out or cynical character. Some of this sounds harsher than it would in real life, which is a bigger topic in anime Japanese that sounds rude in real life. The soft group (なんでもいいよ, お任まかせします) is what people actually say at real restaurants, but it makes for less dramatic scenes, so it appears less in shows.

Common mistakes

  • Using どうでもいい for "anything is fine." Say なんでもいい or どちらでもいい. どうでもいい tells people you don't care about them or it, not that you're flexible.
  • Answering "Where should we eat?" with 別べつに. 別べつに alone dismisses the question. Say なんでもいいよ.
  • Assuming 別べつに is always cold. 別べつに is neutral in something like 別べつにいいよ ("I don't mind, really"). The mood depends on the voice, so listen to how it's said.
  • Treating 知しらない as always rude. It can just mean "I don't know." Tone tells the two apart, and 知しりません is the polite form.
  • Using bare なんでもいい with a superior. Say お任まかせします, or at the very least add です: なんでもいいです.
  • Ordering with でいい to show enthusiasm. でいい sounds like settling. Use がいい when you actually want something.

Practice

Build each answer before opening it. Questions 3 and 4 are a pair, and so are 5 and 6.

1. Your friend asks 何なに食たべたい? and you truly have no preference. Which is better: どうでもいい or なんでもいいよ?

Show answer

なんでもいいよ — it means "anything works for me." どうでもいい means "it doesn't matter and I don't care," which sounds like you are dismissing the question.

2. Someone asks どうしたの? and you reply with a flat 別べつに。 What is the mood?

Show answer

Brushing off the question — "nothing in particular." Said flat, it often means "nothing I want to talk about."

3. Two options are on the table (curry or ramen). Say "either is fine" casually.

Show answer

どっちでもいいよ (or どちらでもいい) — used when exactly two options are on the table and you have no preference.

4. Five options are on the table. Which fits better, どっちでもいい or なんでもいい?

Show answer

なんでもいい (どれでもいい is also standard) — どっち is for two. For three or more visible options, どれ is the usual word; なんでも also works and covers open-ended choices.

5. You order: ビールがいい。 What does the speaker mean?

Show answer

"I want a beer." — がいい picks something on purpose. It is the version to use to show enthusiasm.

6. You order: ビールでいい。 How is it different from question 5?

Show answer

"A beer will do." — でいい accepts an option and can sound like settling. Fine in a casual setting, but がいい is warmer if you want to show interest.

7. A restaurant host says you can pick from the tasting menus. You want to leave the choice to them, politely. What do you say?

Show answer

お任まかせします — "I'll leave it to you." Polite and warm, and it shows trust.

8. Your teacher asks 窓まどを開あけてもいいですか (may I open the window?) and you don't mind. Which polite phrase fits?

Show answer

構かまいません — "I don't mind." It answers a "is it okay if...?" question. If you want to sound warmer, add よ: 構かまいませんよ.

9. Which sounds more open and friendly, なんでもいい or なんでもいいよ?

Show answer

なんでもいいよ — よ adds a small friendly push, "I'm easy." Bare なんでもいい can sound flat, depending on the voice.

10. A friend just told you exciting news, and you reply どうでもいい。 What is wrong?

Show answer

It dismisses them and their news. どうでもいい means "it doesn't matter to me," which is cold here. A warm reaction would be a different sentence altogether.

Answer 何なにを食たべたい? with なんでもいい and 別べつに in a role-play in a trial lesson and hear which one sounds cold.

FAQ

Is どうでもいい always rude? It is blunt, and usually cold. Between close friends about a small thing, どうでもいいよ can be a light shrug. Aimed at a person or something they care about, it lands hard.

Can 別べつに mean "I don't care"? Sort of. 別べつに means "not particularly" or "nothing in particular," often with a flat, closed-off voice. That can read as "I don't care," but it is really a brush-off, and it can also be neutral, as in 別べつにいいよ ("I don't mind").

Is なんでもいい rude? Not by itself. It means "anything is fine," which is a warm idea. The risk is a flat, quick delivery, which can sound bored. Adding よ or using お任まかせします removes the risk.

Should I say どちらでもいい or どっちでもいい? どちらでもいい is the fuller form, and どっちでもいい is the casual spoken version. Both mean "either is fine" for two options.

How do I say "I'm fine with anything" in a restaurant? お任まかせします if you want them to choose, or なんでもいいです if you're choosing among options with a friend. Both are polite and natural.

Vocabulary from this article

Tap the block to select all of it, then copy. In Anki: File → Import, note type Basic, separator Tab — the first column becomes the front, the second the back.

どうでもいい	どうでもいい — doesn't matter (to me), whatever
別に	べつに — not particularly, nothing in particular
関係ない	かんけいない — unrelated, none of my business
知らない	しらない — I don't know, not my concern
興味ない	きょうみない — not interested
なんでもいい	なんでもいい — anything is fine
どちらでもいい	どちらでもいい — either is fine
お任せします	おまかせします — I'll leave it to you
構いません	かまいません — I don't mind
ビール	ビール — beer
窓	まど — window

I'm Yuuki, a Japanese teacher based in Tokyo. I've taught on italki as a Top 1% teacher and watched over 1,500 anime, so most of the example sentences on this blog come from lines I've actually heard students ask about — including this one, which comes up whenever learners want to sound easygoing without sounding cold. Curious how 別べつに and 違ちがう differ? See different in Japanese. For practice with feedback, Book a trial lesson · $13, or work through Japanese practice exercises first.

Sources: the author's own lessons and standard reference grammars.

More drills like the ones above, plus a timed JLPT-style mock test: Practice · N4 · Read something at this level: JLPT N4 stories with audio

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