LESSON NOTES · レッスンノート

N5Lesson notes · Oct 2, 2026

Hate in Japanese: 嫌きらい, 大嫌だいきらい, 嫌いや and the softer options

"Hate" in Japanese is 嫌きらい (きらい), used as 〜が嫌きらい, and the strong version is 大嫌だいきらい (だいきらい) — but 嫌きらい is heavier than it looks, and most polite Japanese people reach for 苦手にがて or あまり好すきじゃない instead.

If you search "hate in Japanese kanji" or "hate in Japanese hiragana," the answer is the same word in two scripts: 嫌きらい in kanji, きらい in hiragana. The harder question is which of the five or six "hate" words fits the moment. Some are about food, some are about people, and one is basically a tsundere sound effect.

The basics

How do you say "I hate" something in Japanese?

Say 〜が嫌きらいです (〜がきらいです). The thing you hate takes が, not を, because 嫌きらい is a na-adjective, not a verb.

納豆なっとうが嫌きらいです。 — I hate natto. (polite, but honestly stronger than "I don't like it") 雨あめが嫌きらい。 — I hate rain. (casual, to a friend) ピーマンが大嫌だいきらい! — I absolutely hate green peppers! (casual, emphatic)

The most common learner error is 納豆なっとうを嫌きらいです. English "hate" is a transitive verb, so を feels natural. But 嫌きらい works exactly like 好すき: 納豆なっとうが好すき, 納豆なっとうが嫌きらい. If you can say "I like it," you already know the grammar. For the full pattern on the positive side, see I love you in Japanese: 好すき and 愛いとしてる.

There is also a real verb, 嫌きらう (きらう), and it takes を: 人ひとを嫌きらう. It sounds written and slightly stiff. In speech you will hear 嫌きらい far more.

How do you write "hate" in kanji and hiragana?

The kanji is 嫌いや, the hiragana is きらい. 嫌いや is 女おんな plus 兼けん, where 兼けん only hints at the sound (ケン/ゲン); the parts do not spell out the meaning. The reading きら·い is what you use when it is a word on its own. The same kanji is read いや in 嫌いや and 嫌いやだ, which is a separate word we will get to below. Hiragana きらい is fine in casual writing and manga, and you will see 大おおきらい when an author wants a softer or more childlike look.

Form Script Reading
嫌きらい kanji + hiragana きらい
大嫌だいきらい kanji だいきらい
大っ嫌だいっきらい kanji + small っ だいっきらい
嫌いや / 嫌いやだ kanji いや / いやだ

What is 大嫌だいきらい?

大嫌だいきらい (だいきらい) is 嫌きらい with 大だい "big" in front, meaning "really hate." It is the direct match for English "I hate X" when you actually mean it.

虫むしが大嫌だいきらい。 — I really can't stand bugs. (casual, strong feeling) 満員電車まんいんでんしゃが大嫌だいきらいです。 — I hate packed trains. (polite, but the feeling is strong)

Notice the register. 大嫌だいきらいです is grammatical and polite in form, but it is still a loud sentence. Politeness in the verb ending does not make the emotion quieter.

How do you modify a noun with 嫌きらい?

Use 嫌きらいな before the noun. Because 嫌きらい is a na-adjective, it needs な: 嫌きらいな食べ物たべもの (food I hate), 嫌きらいな人ひと (a person I dislike).

嫌きらいな食べ物たべものはありますか。 — Is there any food you don't like? (polite, a standard question) あの人ひとは私わたしの嫌きらいなタイプです。 — That person is the type I dislike. (polite, describing someone)

Beyond the basics

What is the difference between 嫌きらい and 嫌いや?

嫌きらい is a lasting dislike of something. 嫌いや (いや) is an immediate "no way" about something right now. Compare the two:

ピーマンは嫌きらい。 — I dislike green peppers. (a standing fact about you) ピーマンは嫌いや! — No! I don't want green peppers! (a child pushing the plate away)

嫌いや (いや, usually 嫌いやだ or 嫌いやです) is about a reaction in the moment: refusing, resisting, or recoiling. It is also the thing you say when you do not want to do something.

残業ざんぎょうは嫌いやだ。 — I don't want to work overtime. (casual, a refusal) もう嫌いやだ! — I've had enough! (casual, venting)

Anime and drama use 嫌いや constantly because it is short and emotional. When a character shouts いやっ!, they are not stating a preference. They are rejecting what is happening.

What is the polite way to say you dislike something?

Use 苦手にがて (にがて) — "not my thing" — for foods, subjects, and even people. Literally it means "hard to deal with," so it frames the problem as your weakness rather than the thing's fault.

辛からいものは苦手にがてです。 — Spicy food isn't really my thing. (polite, safe at a restaurant) 早起はやおきが苦手にがてで。 — I'm bad at getting up early. (polite, a gentle excuse)

The same word covers "I'm weak at" and "I don't get along with," which makes it very flexible. For the "weak at" side of it, see Good at and bad at in Japanese: 上手じょうず, 得意とくい, 下手へた, 苦手にがて.

あの先生せんせいはちょっと苦手にがてなんだ。 — I find that teacher a bit difficult. (casual, a polite way to say you don't click with someone)

What is the most natural way to soften "I don't like it"?

あまり好すきじゃない — "I don't really like it" — is the everyday softener. あまり plus a negative means "not very," so the sentence says "not much" instead of "no."

コーヒーはあまり好すきじゃないです。 — I don't really like coffee. (polite, natural and non-confrontational) ホラー映画えいがはあまり…。 — Horror movies aren't really... (casual, trailing off is a soft no)

Trailing off after あまり is very normal. The listener fills in the rest, and nobody has to hear the word 嫌きらい.

Can you hate a person in Japanese?

Yes, but people almost never say it out loud. 嫌きらい about a person is a serious sentence, especially to their face.

あなたが嫌きらい。 — I hate you. (blunt, an actual breakup or fight line) もうあなたなんか嫌きらい! — I hate you now! (emotional, a fight)

The version "I hate you" in textbook English is closer to 大嫌だいきらい than to 嫌きらい in force. In real life, people say 苦手にがて about people they avoid and keep the real word for a real fight.

What about 憎にくい and 憎にくむ?

憎にくい (にくい) and 憎にくむ (にくむ) mean "hatred" in the deep sense — the thing you feel about an enemy. This is not about taste. It is about wanting someone harmed.

彼かれを憎にくんでいる。 — I hate him. (serious, resentment toward a person) 憎にくしみは何なにも生うまない。 — Hatred creates nothing. (literary, a proverb-style line)

憎にくむ takes を, like most real verbs. You will see it in novels, news, and drama. You will almost never use it. Do not choose 憎にくい for "I hate natto," because it sounds as if the natto killed someone.

What about むかつく?

むかつく is not "hate" — it is "that makes me furious." It is a reaction to something annoying or infuriating, closer to "pissed off." It gets its own breakdown in Angry in Japanese: 怒おこる and むかつく.

How does 大嫌だいきらい sound in anime?

In anime, 大嫌だいきらい is a classic tsundere line: the character shouts it while meaning the opposite. The stereotype is a character who insists she hates someone because she cannot admit she likes them.

あんたなんか大っ嫌だいっきらい! — I hate you! (shouted, with the small っ for punch) 別べつに、嫌きらいじゃないけど。 — It's not like I hate you or anything. (embarrassed, which is the confession)

The small っ in 大っ嫌だいっきらい adds a hard stop before きらい, the way English stresses "I hate you." It is a spoken emphasis rather than a different word. The second line is a classic: 嫌きらいじゃない is not "I like you," but when a character says it with a blush, the audience knows.

What does 嫌きらいじゃない mean?

嫌きらいじゃない means "I don't dislike it," which in practice is "I kind of like it." It is a double negative that sounds modest and is often a quiet compliment.

この曲きょく、嫌きらいじゃないよ。 — I don't mind this song. (casual, actually a mild like) 辛つらいの、嫌きらいじゃないです。 — I don't dislike spicy food. (polite, means "I'm fine with it, I'll eat it")

It is weaker than 好すき and warmer than あまり好すきじゃない. The reading depends on tone, so it can mean "I quite like it" or just "I can eat it."

Why is saying 嫌きらい at someone's dinner table rude?

Because you are rejecting something someone served you, and Japanese hospitality treats the host's effort as a gift. 嫌きらい turns a food fact into a verdict on their cooking.

すみません、実じつは魚さかなが苦手にがてで。 — Sorry, I actually have trouble with fish. (polite, said at a host's table) 嫌きらいなので食たべません。 — I hate it, so I won't eat it. (too blunt, do not say this to a host)

At a host's home or a business dinner, say 苦手にがて and, if you can, mention you will try a little. If it is a real allergy, say アレルギー. For the broader subject of food preferences and what Japanese calls picky eating, see Picky eater in Japanese: 食わず嫌くわずぎらい.

Common mistakes

  • Using を with 嫌きらい. 納豆なっとうを嫌きらい is wrong. 納豆なっとうが嫌きらい is right, the same way 好すき works.
  • Forgetting な before a noun. 嫌きらい食べ物たべもの is wrong. 嫌きらいな食べ物たべもの is right.
  • Mixing 嫌きらい and 嫌いや. 嫌きらい is a stable preference. 嫌いやだ is "I don't want that right now." Say 嫌きらい if you mean "I have always disliked it" and 嫌いや if you mean "no, stop."
  • Saying 大嫌だいきらい because it is the textbook translation of "hate." English "I hate Mondays" is light. 月曜日げつようびが大嫌だいきらい is not that light. 月曜日げつようびは苦手にがて or 月曜日げつようびは憂うれうつ (ゆううつ, "gloomy") is closer in tone.
  • Using 憎にくい for everyday things. 憎にくい is for people and real grudges. Use 嫌きらい, 苦手にがて, or あまり好すきじゃない for taste.
  • Telling a host 嫌きらい about their food. Use 苦手にがて, or a polite excuse, and eat a little if you can.

The "hate" ladder

Phrase Strength When to use
憎にくい / 憎にくむ Deepest, a serious grudge Writing, drama, real conflict
大嫌だいきらい Very strong Close friends, jokes, real anger
嫌きらい Strong, direct Friends, family, preferences
嫌いや / 嫌いやだ In-the-moment refusal When you don't want to do it now
苦手にがて Soft, "not my thing" Polite situations, food, people
あまり好すきじゃない Mild, gentle Everyday small talk
嫌きらいじゃない Warm, "kind of like it" A modest compliment

Practice

Build each answer before opening it. Questions 3 and 4 are a pair, and so are 7 and 8.

1. Say "I hate natto" with the right particle.

Show answer

納豆なっとうが嫌きらいです — 嫌きらい is a na-adjective, like 好すき, so the object takes が, not を.

2. What is wrong with 嫌きらい食べ物たべもの?

Show answer

It needs な: 嫌きらいな食べ物たべもの. A na-adjective needs な before a noun.

3. A child pushes away green peppers and says "No! I don't want them!" Which word fits: 嫌きらい or 嫌いや?

Show answer

嫌いや (いや) — it is an immediate reaction in the moment, not a lasting dislike.

4. You tell a friend "I've never liked green peppers." Which word fits: 嫌きらい or 嫌いや?

Show answer

嫌きらい — a stable, long-term dislike. This is the pair to question 3.

5. At a host's table you are served fish you struggle with. What is the polite way to say you dislike it?

Show answer

魚さかなが苦手にがてで… — 苦手にがて frames it as your own difficulty, not a verdict on the cooking.

6. What is the most natural softener for "I don't like coffee"?

Show answer

コーヒーはあまり好すきじゃないです — あまり plus a negative means "not very," which avoids the word 嫌きらい.

7. Which verb takes を and means deep hatred of a person: 嫌きらう or 憎にくむ?

Show answer

憎にくむ — it means real hatred and takes を (彼かれを憎にくむ). 嫌きらう also takes を but is only "dislike" and sounds stiff.

8. Which is for everyday dislikes of things: 嫌きらい or 憎にくい?

Show answer

嫌きらい — 憎にくい is a grudge against a person. Using it for natto would sound absurdly serious. This is the pair to question 7.

9. A character blushes and says 別べつに、嫌きらいじゃないけど. What does she actually mean?

Show answer

She kind of likes it (or him) — 嫌きらいじゃない is a double negative that works as a modest, embarrassed admission.

10. What does the small っ in 大っ嫌だいっきらい add?

Show answer

Emphasis — it is a hard stop before きらい, like stressing "I *hate* you" in English. It is the same word, not a new one.

Say what you dislike at different strengths, from 苦手にがて to 嫌きらい to 大嫌だいきらい, in a trial lesson and hear how each lands on a listener.

FAQ

Is "I hate you" in Japanese あなたが嫌きらい? Yes, あなたが嫌きらい or あなたなんか大嫌だいきらい are the direct translations. They are a blunt, real fight line, so in real life people usually avoid them and show distance with a cold tone instead.

What is "hate" in Japanese kanji? 嫌きらい, with the kanji 嫌いや plus the hiragana い. For hate in hiragana, it is きらい. The same kanji read いや gives 嫌いや, "no way."

Is 嫌きらい very rude? About things, no, it is just direct. About a person's face or someone's cooking, yes. Most polite speakers choose 苦手にがて or あまり好すきじゃない so they do not have to say 嫌きらい at all.

What is the difference between 嫌きらい and 苦手にがて? 嫌きらい is a clear dislike. 苦手にがて is "difficult for me," so it is softer and blames your own limits. 苦手にがて is also what you say about people you just do not click with.

Does 嫌きらいじゃない mean the same as 好すき? No. It is weaker — "I don't mind it" or "I kind of like it." Tone decides whether it is a shrug or a hidden compliment.

Vocabulary from this article

Tap the block to select all of it, then copy. In Anki: File → Import, note type Basic, separator Tab.

嫌い	きらい — dislike, hate (na-adjective)
大嫌い	だいきらい — really hate
嫌	いや — no way, unwanted
苦手	にがて — not my thing, weak at
好き	すき — like
憎い	にくい — hateful
憎む	にくむ — to hate deeply
嫌う	きらう — to dislike (verb)
納豆	なっとう — natto
食べ物	たべもの — food
魚	さかな — fish
虫	むし — bug

I'm Yuuki, a Japanese teacher based in Tokyo. I've taught on italki as a Top 1% teacher and watched over 1,500 anime, so most of the example sentences on this blog come from lines I've actually heard students ask about — including this one, because everyone wants "I hate you" in their first week. For practice with feedback, Book a trial lesson · $13, or work through Japanese practice exercises first.

Sources: the author's own lessons and standard reference grammars.

More drills like the ones above, plus a timed JLPT-style mock test: Practice · N5 · Read something at this level: JLPT N5 stories with audio

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