LESSON NOTES · レッスンノート

N5Grammar, one piece at a time · Sep 14, 2026

ほしい vs たい: wanting a thing, wanting to do, and wanting someone else to

ほしい means you want a *thing*; 〜たい means you want to *do* something. Both are い-adjectives, both take が, and — the part nobody warns you about — neither can be used about another person. かれきたいです is wrong; it has to be きたがっています.

Between them these two cover most of what a beginner needs to say, and the third piece, 〜てほしい ("I want you to…"), turns them into a way of asking for things.

The basics

The split

Want what Pattern Example
A thing noun + + ほしい みずがほしいです
To do something verb ます-stem + たい みずみたいです
Someone else to do something te-form + ほしい 手伝てつだってほしいです

あたらしいくつがほしいです。 — I want new shoes. (polite — a thing) 日本にほんきたいです。 — I want to go to Japan. (polite — an action)

たい attaches to the ます-stem, exactly like 〜やすい and 〜にくい: みます → みたい, べます → べたい, します → したい.

Both are い-adjectives

Once attached, ほしい and たい conjugate like たかい:

ほしい きたい
Present ほしい きたい
Negative ほしくない きたくない
Past ほしかった きたかった
Past negative ほしくなかった きたくなかった

昨日きのうなにべたくなかったです。 — I didn't want to eat anything yesterday. (polite past negative)

So ほしいでした and きたいでした do not exist, for the same reason たかいでした does not — see い-adjectives vs な-adjectives.

The particle: が, and sometimes を

With ほしい it is always が. With たい, both が and を appear:

みずみたいです。 — I want to drink water. (polite — が, the classic form) このほんみたいです。 — I want to read this book. (polite — を, also natural)

The rough tendency: が emphasises the thing you want, を keeps the focus on the action. Both are correct, and long sentences with other が in them tend to prefer を to avoid pile-ups. What is not correct is みずをほしい — ほしい never takes を.

Beyond the basics

You cannot use these about other people

This is the rule that surprises everyone. In Japanese, another person's desires are not something you can state as fact. For a third person, use 〜たがる / ほしがる:

おとうとあたらしい自転車じてんしゃをほしがっています。 — My brother wants a new bike. (polite — ほしがる, and note it takes を) かれ日本にほんきたがっています。 — He wants to go to Japan. (polite — たがる)

Note two things: the がる forms normally appear in the teiru form, and ほしがる switches the particle to を, because がる makes it a verb ("shows signs of wanting").

The alternative is to hedge instead: きたいみたいです, きたいそうです, きたいとおもっています. All of these mark the thought as reported rather than known — the same instinct behind 〜とおもっています for other people's thoughts.

〜てほしい: asking without asking

ちょっと手伝てつだってほしいんですけど。 — I'd like you to help me a bit… (polite, trailing — a soft request)

てほしい states your wish rather than issuing an instruction, which makes it gentler than 〜てください. The person marked with に is the one you want to act: 田中たなかさんにてほしい.

The negative is ないでほしい: わないでほしい ("I'd rather you didn't say that").

〜たいですか can be too direct

Asking a superior なにべたいですか is grammatically fine and socially blunt — it puts their desires on the table for inspection. Softer options:

なにになさいますか。 — What will you have? (very polite — honorific なさる) ちゃでもいかがですか。 — Would you like some tea? (polite offer)

Among friends, なにべたい? is completely normal. The problem is only upwards.

〜たいとおもっています

Attaching おもっています softens a stated desire into a considered intention, which is why it dominates job interviews and formal self-introductions:

将来しょうらい日本にほんはたらきたいとおもっています。 — I'm hoping to work in Japan in the future. (polite — measured, not blurted)

ほしい also means "desirable" in the abstract

もうすこ時間じかんがほしいですね。 — We could do with a bit more time. (polite — a shared wish, not a personal demand)

Used this way it is closer to English "it'd be good to have," and it can include the listener rather than only the speaker.

Common mistakes

  • みずをほしいです. ほしい takes が: みずがほしいです.
  • かれきたいです. Other people need きたがっています, or a hedge like きたいみたいです.
  • ほしいでした / きたいでした. These are い-adjectives: ほしかったです, きたかったです.
  • むたい. たい attaches to the ます-stem: みたい.
  • Using 〜たいですか with a boss. Grammatically fine, socially blunt. Use いかがですか or なさいますか.
  • Confusing ほしがる's particle. ほしい takes が, but ほしがる takes を.

Practice

Answers are hidden — build yours first, then open. Questions 1 and 2 are a pair: same water, and only the kind of wanting changes.

1. Say "I want water."

Show answer

みずがほしいです — a thing, so noun + が + ほしい. を is never correct with ほしい.

2. Say "I want to drink water."

Show answer

みずみたいです — an action, so ます-stem + たい. This is the pair to question 1.

3. Something is wrong here: 昨日きのうきたいでした。

Show answer

きたかったです — たい is an い-adjective, so the past is かった.

4. Something is wrong here: かれ日本にほんきたいです。

Show answer

きたがっています — you cannot state another person's desire as fact. がる, usually in the teiru form.

5. Say "my brother wants a new bike."

Show answer

おとうとあたらしい自転車じてんしゃをほしがっています — ほしがる is a verb, so the particle switches from が to を.

6. Ask someone to help you, softly, using ほしい.

Show answer

ちょっと手伝てつだってほしいんですけど — てほしい states a wish rather than giving an instruction, which is gentler than てください.

7. Say "I'd rather you didn't say that."

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わないでほしいです — the negative of てほしい is ないでほしい.

8. Your boss is choosing lunch. Is なにべたいですか a good question?

Show answer

Grammatical but bluntなにになさいますか or おちゃでもいかがですか are the upward-facing versions. With friends, なにべたい? is fine.

9. Say "I'm hoping to work in Japan in the future," in a job-interview register.

Show answer

将来しょうらい日本にほんはたらきたいとおもっていますおもっています turns a blurted wish into a considered intention.

10. Make べる into the たい form, and say what it attaches to.

Show answer

べたい — the ます-stemべます minus ます, plus たい. Not the dictionary form.

FAQ

Is たい ever used with ください? No. たいてください does not exist. For requests, use てほしい or てください.

What about ほしがっている vs ほしがる? The plain ほしがる is generic ("children want toys"); the teiru form describes a specific person right now, which is what you usually mean.

Can I use たい in the negative to refuse? Yes, and it is common: きたくないです. It is direct, though — a softer refusal trails off instead: ちょっと…

Is しい written in kanji? Both appear. しい is standard in writing; kana is common in casual text.

What is 〜たがっている for objects? Nothing — がる is for people. For a machine "wanting" something, Japanese rephrases entirely.

Does 〜たい work with する verbs? Yes: 勉強べんきょうしたい, 電話でんわしたい. The stem of します is し.

Vocabulary from this article

Tap the block to select all of it, then copy. In Anki: File → Import, note type Basic, separator Tab — the first column becomes the front, the second the back.

欲しい	ほしい — to want (a thing)
水	みず — water
飲む	のむ — to drink
新しい	あたらしい — new
靴	くつ — shoes
日本	にほん — Japan
行く	いく — to go
本	ほん — book
読む	よむ — to read
昨日	きのう — yesterday
食べる	たべる — to eat
弟	おとうと — younger brother
自転車	じてんしゃ — bicycle
手伝う	てつだう — to help
言う	いう — to say
将来	しょうらい — the future
働く	はたらく — to work
時間	じかん — time
お茶	おちゃ — tea
勉強	べんきょう — study
電話	でんわ — telephone
高い	たかい — expensive, high

I'm Yuuki, a Japanese teacher based in Tokyo. I've taught on italki as a Top 1% teacher and watched over 1,500 anime. The rule that stops learners cold is not the particle — it is being told they cannot say what someone else wants. It is worth sitting with, because the same logic runs through おもう, かんじる and every other verb about the inside of a head.

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Sources: the author's own lessons and standard reference grammars.

More drills like the ones above, plus a timed JLPT-style mock test: Practice · N5

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