LESSON NOTES · レッスンノート

N4Lesson notes · Oct 6, 2026

Calm Down in Japanese: 落ち着おちついて (Ochitsuite) and 7 More Ways

The everyday way to say "calm down" in Japanese is 落ち着おちついて (ochitsuite). Its blunt cousin 落ち着おちつけ (ochitsuke) is a command, and the people who use it are usually in the middle of an anime fight.

English uses "calm down" for panic, anger, crying, and excitement, all with the same two words. Japanese splits the job up. Which phrase you pick depends on what the other person is feeling and on how well you know them, and one wrong choice can turn a kind gesture into an order. This article gives you the phrases, who they fit, and the traps learners fall into.

The basics

How do you say "calm down" in Japanese?

The standard answer is 落ち着おちついて, the te-form of the verb 落ち着おちつく (ochitsuku). It is a soft request, roughly "please settle down" or "take it easy," and it works for a friend, a coworker, a child, or someone you just met.

落ち着おちついて。大丈夫だいじょうぶだから。 — Calm down. It's going to be okay. (everyday, to a friend or family member) 落ち着おちついて話はなしてください。 — Please calm down and tell me. (polite, to a customer or a stranger)

The verb 落ち着おちつく means "to settle." A person settles, a mood settles, a town can settle, even a room with the right furniture has an 落ち着おちつく feeling. So it is not only about anger. It covers panic, nerves, and plain fluster. That is why one verb covers so much of what English does with "calm down."

What does 落ち着おちついて actually do grammatically?

It is the te-form used as a request, the same pattern as 食たべて (eat) or 待まって (wait). Dropping ください gives you the casual version. Adding it gives you the polite one. If you want a refresher on why the te-form can ask someone to do something, see 〜てください: making requests in Japanese.

落ち着おちついてください。 — Please calm down. (polite, used with strangers, customers, and seniors) ちょっと落ち着おちついて。 — Hang on, calm down a bit. (casual, ちょっと softens it)

Which phrase do you use for which person?

Here is the cheat sheet. Politeness runs from top (safest) to bottom (strongest).

The calm-down phrases at a glance

Phrase Who you say it to Politeness Example
落ち着おちついてください Strangers, customers, seniors Polite 落ち着おちついてください。ゆっくりで大丈夫だいじょうぶです。
落ち着おちついて Friends, family, coworkers Casual to neutral 落ち着おちついて。まず座すわろう。
冷静れいせいに(なって) Someone about to do something rash Neutral, a bit serious 冷静れいせいになって考かんがえよう。
まあまあ Two people arguing Casual, spoken まあまあ、二人ふたりとも。
焦あせらないで Someone rushing or panicking Casual 焦あせらないで。時間じかんはあるよ。
深呼吸しんこきゅうして Someone panicking or nervous Casual, kind 深呼吸しんこきゅうして。ゆっくりでいいよ。
落ち着おちつけ Close friends, rivals, in a crisis Blunt, command 落ち着おちつけ!まだ終おわってない!

Notice that the table is not sorted by the English word "calm." It is sorted by what is going on: panic, a fight, a rash decision, nerves. Pick the situation first, and the phrase follows.

Beyond the basics

What is 落ち着おちつけ, and why is it all over anime?

落ち着おちつけ is the imperative of 落ち着おちつく. It is a direct command, the grammatical equivalent of "Settle down!" or "Get a grip!" It is short, loud, and works at the moment of crisis, which is exactly why anime loves it.

落ち着おちつけ!敵てきはまだ来きていない! — Calm down! The enemy hasn't arrived yet! (blunt command, between teammates in a tense scene) おい、落ち着おちつけって。 — Hey, I said calm down. (casual, rough, one friend to another)

In anime you will hear 落ち着おちつけ from a leader steadying a panicking team, from a friend grabbing someone who is about to storm off, and from the hero talking himself down. The follow-up って (落ち着おちつけって) adds "I'm telling you," a little extra pressure.

Be careful with it in real life. 落ち着おちつけ sounds masculine and forceful. Said to a boss, a teacher, or a customer, it would be rude. Said by a woman, it is not wrong, but it is less common than 落ち着おちついて or 落ち着おちつきなさい. Anime characters get away with it because the story is already at full volume. In real life, most people will hear it as "you are being unreasonable."

What is the "adult" way to say it: 冷静れいせいに?

冷静れいせいに (reisei ni) means "calmly, rationally." It is not about soothing someone's feelings. It asks them to stop reacting and start thinking. English "be rational" or "keep a cool head" is a better match.

冷静れいせいになって考かんがえてみて。 — Calm down and think it over. (neutral, asks for rational thought) 冷静れいせいに対応たいおうしましょう。 — Let's handle this calmly. (polite, workplace, after a complaint)

In the anime world you will hear 冷静れいせいになれ ("get calm and rational") when a character is angry or panicking and someone has to pull him back. If 落ち着おちついて is a hand on the shoulder, 冷静れいせいに is a tap on the forehead: stop and think.

What do you say when two people are arguing?

Use まあまあ. This is the classic mediating phrase. You say it with a slight hand gesture, palms out, as if you are pressing the air down.

まあまあ、二人ふたりとも。 — Come on, you two. (casual, stepping between two people who are arguing) まあまあ、そんなに怒おこらないで。 — Easy now, don't get so angry. (casual, mediating)

まあまあ does not describe a feeling and it is not a request. It is a sound that says "let's all slow down." It also has an unrelated meaning ("so-so," as in "How was the movie?" "まあまあ."), so listen for tone and gesture.

What about どうどう?

どうどう (doudou) is the sound people use to calm a horse, like "whoa, whoa." People use it jokingly on other people when someone is excited or worked up.

どうどう。ちょっと落ち着おちついて。 — Whoa, whoa. Settle down a bit. (joking, friends only)

Use it only with close friends, and only when the mood is light. It teases, so it can sting if the person is truly upset.

Can you tell someone to take a deep breath?

Yes, and this one is warm, not bossy. 深呼吸しんこきゅうして (shinkokyuu shite) is literally "do a deep breath." It is a very natural way to calm someone who is nervous or in tears, and it works for exam nerves, a presentation, or a phone call that went badly.

深呼吸しんこきゅうして。ゆっくりでいいよ。 — Take a deep breath. Slowly is fine. (casual, kind, to a nervous friend) まず深呼吸しんこきゅうしましょう。 — Let's start with a deep breath. (polite, teacher or nurse to someone anxious)

The 呼吸こきゅう inside 深呼吸しんこきゅう is the formal word for breathing as a process, and breath in Japanese contrasts it with everyday 息いき, as in 大おおきく息いきを吸すって.

What is the difference between 焦あせらないで and 落ち着おちついて?

焦あせらないで (aseranai de) means "don't rush" or "don't panic." Its cousin 慌あわてないで (awatenai de) means "don't flap, don't lose your head." They are not the same as "calm down," but in daily life they get you to the same place, because they speak to the cause of the problem: being rushed.

焦あせらないで。まだ間に合まにあうよ。 — Don't rush. There's still time. (casual, reassuring) 慌あわてないで。ゆっくり探さがそう。 — Don't panic. Let's look slowly. (casual, a lost wallet or phone)

Anime uses the blunt command 焦あせるな ("don't rush it") for the same idea. That is the negative imperative, the same strength as 落ち着おちつけ, so keep it for rough, close-friend moments.

And when someone is angry?

For anger, you can say 怒おこらないで (don't be angry) or the more casual キレないで (don't snap, don't blow up).

怒おこらないで。ちゃんと説明せつめいするから。 — Don't be angry. I'll explain properly. (casual, to someone who is upset with you) キレないで。話はなしを聞きいて。 — Don't blow up. Listen to me. (very casual, slangy, friends only)

キレる is slang and can sound hostile, so do not use it with someone you do not know well. For the vocabulary of anger itself, our article on angry in Japanese covers 怒おこる, むかつく, and more.

And just saying "it's okay"?

Sometimes the best "calm down" is no calm-down phrase at all. 大丈夫だいじょうぶだよ (it's okay) tells the other person they are safe. It is what a parent says to a crying child and what a friend says after a mistake. The word 大丈夫だいじょうぶ does several jobs, which is explained in daijoubu meaning in Japanese.

大丈夫だいじょうぶだよ。私わたしがいるから。 — It's okay. I'm here. (casual, soothing)

How do you say "I calmed down" or "I can't relax"?

For yourself, you use the same verb in a different form.

やっと落ち着おちついた。 — I finally calmed down. (casual, after a shock or a stressful moment) 緊張きんちょうして、落ち着おちつかない。 — I'm nervous and I can't settle. (casual, exam or interview day) それを聞きいて、ほっとした。 — I was relieved to hear that. (neutral, relief rather than calming)

The last one is a different feeling. ほっとした is relief when something bad did not happen. Use 落ち着おちついた for "my heart rate came down" and ほっとした for "thank goodness."

Common mistakes

  • Treating 落ち着おちつく as a transitive verb. Learners say 彼かれを落ち着おちつく, thinking "calm him down." But 落ち着おちつく is intransitive. The thing that settles is the subject. To calm someone else you need 落ち着おちつかせる: 彼かれを落ち着おちつかせる ("I calm him down"). If the difference between the two kinds of verbs is blurry, transitive and intransitive verbs in Japanese is the place to fix it.
  • Using 落ち着おちつけ in the wrong place. It is the anime phrase, not the phrase for a coworker. If you are not sure, use 落ち着おちついて, and add ください if you are talking to anyone above you.
  • Reading 落ち着おちつかない as "not calm." 落ち着おちつかない does mean you cannot settle, but the usual feeling is restless, fidgety, or uneasy: a waiting room, a new apartment, a seat that is too fancy. It is not a statement about a calm, quiet environment. If you want "this place is not calm" (noisy, busy), 静しずかじゃない or うるさい are clearer.
  • Mixing up the English adjective "calm" and the verb "calm down." "A calm person" is 穏おだやかな人ひと or 落ち着おちついた人ひと. "Calm water" is 穏おだやかな海うみ. "Be calm and rational" is 冷静れいせいに. The English word calm becomes three or four Japanese words depending on whether it is a mood, a place, a personality, or a command.
  • Thinking 落ち着おちついた only means the action. 落ち着おちついた is also an adjective: 落ち着おちついた人ひと (a mature, composed person), 落ち着おちついた色いろ (a muted color), 落ち着おちついた店みせ (a quiet, relaxed shop). It is a compliment.

Practice

Build each answer before opening it. Questions 3 and 4 are a pair, and so are 5 and 6.

1. You see your friend panicking over a lost train pass. Say "Calm down" in the casual, everyday way.

Show answer

落ち着おちついて — the te-form of 落ち着おちつく, a soft request that works for friends and family.

2. A customer is shouting at a shop clerk. Make the same request politely.

Show answer

落ち着おちついてください — add ください to the te-form. 落ち着おちつけ would be a rude command here.

3. Say "I will calm him down." (you are the one doing the calming)

Show answer

彼かれを落ち着おちつかせます — 落ち着おちつかせる is the transitive verb: someone calms someone else. 彼かれを落ち着おちつく is wrong because 落ち着おちつく is intransitive.

4. Say "He calmed down." (nobody is mentioned doing the calming)

Show answer

彼かれは落ち着おちつきました — here 落ち着おちつく is intransitive: he settled by himself. This is the pair to question 3.

5. In an anime, a captain shouts at a panicking crew member: "Calm down!" Which form fits, 落ち着おちついて or 落ち着おちつけ?

Show answer

落ち着おちつけ — the blunt imperative fits a crisis between teammates. This is the pair to question 6.

6. Now you are speaking to your manager, who is upset about a mistake. Choose between 落ち着おちつけ and 落ち着おちついてください.

Show answer

落ち着おちついてください — a polite request is the only safe choice with someone above you. 落ち着おちつけ would be insulting.

7. Two friends are arguing and you step in with palms out. What do you say?

Show answer

まあまあ、二人ふたりとも — まあまあ is the mediating sound for "come on now." It does not name a feeling, it slows the moment.

8. Your friend is nervous before an exam. Say "Take a deep breath."

Show answer

深呼吸しんこきゅうして — 深呼吸しんこきゅう is a noun that goes with する, so the te-form is 深呼吸しんこきゅうして. It is warm and kind, not bossy.

9. You say 緊張きんちょうして落ち着おちつかない. Does this mean "I'm nervous and not calm" or something closer to "I'm nervous and restless"?

Show answer

I'm nervous and restless — 落ち着おちつかない describes not being able to settle: fidgety, uneasy. It is not a plain negative of "calm."

落ち着おちついて is the safe phrase and 落ち着おちつけ sounds like an order, so in a trial lesson, say both to a panicking classmate in a made-up scene and hear the difference.

FAQ

Is 落ち着おちついて rude? No. It is the standard, safe way to say "calm down," and with ください it is fully polite. The risky one is 落ち着おちつけ, which is a command. Telling a person who is upset to calm down can also sound dismissive in any language, so tone matters more than the word.

What is the difference between 落ち着おちつく and 落ち着おちつかせる? 落ち着おちつく is intransitive: a person or a mood settles by itself. 落ち着おちつかせる is the transitive pair: someone calms someone else, or calms themselves on purpose. 彼かれを落ち着おちつかせる means "I calm him down."

How do I say "calm down" to a child? Use 大丈夫だいじょうぶ、大丈夫だいじょうぶ or 落ち着おちついて with a gentle voice, or ゆっくりでいいよ ("slowly is fine"). Avoid 落ち着おちつけ, which sounds like scolding.

Is 落ち着おちつけ only for men? It sounds masculine and rough, and that is why it is so common in anime. Women do use stronger forms in real life, but 落ち着おちついて is the safer everyday choice for anyone.

What does まあまあ mean? It has two jobs. As a mediator, it means "come on, easy now." As an answer to "How was it?" it means "so-so, okay." Tone and gesture tell you which one you are hearing.

Can I say 冷静れいせいに to calm someone? Yes, but it asks them to think, not to feel better. It works when someone is about to make a rash choice, and it can sound cold if the person just needs comfort. For comfort, try 大丈夫だいじょうぶだよ or 深呼吸しんこきゅうして first.

Vocabulary from this article

Tap the block to select all of it, then copy. In Anki: File → Import, note type Basic, separator Tab, and the two columns land in Front / Back.

落ち着く	おちつく — to calm down, to settle
落ち着かせる	おちつかせる — to calm (someone) down
落ち着け	おちつけ — calm down! (blunt command)
冷静	れいせい — calm, rational
まあまあ	まあまあ — easy now (mediating); so-so
どうどう	どうどう — whoa, whoa (soothing sound)
深呼吸	しんこきゅう — deep breath
焦る	あせる — to rush, to panic
慌てる	あわてる — to flap, to lose one's head
怒る	おこる — to get angry
キレる	きれる — to snap, to blow up (slang)
大丈夫	だいじょうぶ — okay, all right
ほっとする	ほっとする — to feel relieved
穏やか	おだやか — calm, gentle

I'm Yuuki, a Japanese teacher based in Tokyo. I've taught on italki as a Top 1% teacher and watched over 1,500 anime, so most of the example sentences on this blog come from lines I've actually heard students ask about — including this one, which comes up in nearly every beginner's first few lessons. For practice with feedback, Book a trial lesson · $13, or work through Japanese practice exercises first.

Sources: the author's own lessons and standard reference grammars.

More drills like the ones above, plus a timed JLPT-style mock test: Practice · N4 · Read something at this level: JLPT N4 stories with audio

More “Action Words: Japanese Verbs One at a Time” articles →

Want to try this in a real conversation?

30-minute trial lesson, $13. Times shown in your own timezone.

Practice it out loud with a Tokyo native. ★5.0 from 358 italki reviews.

See how the lessons work →

Book a trial lesson · $13