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N4Lesson notes · Oct 4, 2026

かわいそう (kawaisou) meaning: "poor thing", not "looks cute

かわいそう (可哀想かわいそう, kawaisou) means "poor thing", "pitiful" or "I feel sorry for them". It is not かわいい plus the "looks like" そう. "That looks cute" is かわいいね or かわいく見みえる; かわいそう is what you say about a lost puppy in the rain.

This is one of the most famous traps in beginner Japanese. You learn かわいい (cute), then you learn 〜そう (looks like), and it seems obvious that かわいそう means "looks cute". It does not. It means something closer to the opposite: sad to see, deserving of pity. This post explains how to use かわいそう, the words around it, and how to say "looks cute" correctly.

What does かわいそう mean?

How do you use かわいそう?

かわいそう is a な-adjective meaning "pitiful, poor, sad to see". You use it about someone or something in an unfortunate situation.

雨あめの中なかで、子犬こいぬが震ふるえていてかわいそうだった。 — The puppy was shivering in the rain; I felt so sorry for it. (casual, sympathy) 一人ひとりで留守番るすばんなんて、かわいそう。 — Staying home alone? Poor thing. (casual)

Before a noun, it takes な: かわいそうな猫ねこ, "a poor cat".

What does かわいそうに mean?

かわいそうに is a short exclamation: "Poor thing!" or "Oh, poor you." It is said when you hear about someone's bad luck.

え、財布さいふをなくしたの?かわいそうに。 — What, you lost your wallet? Oh, poor you. (casual, sympathetic)

Why doesn't かわいそう mean "looks cute"?

Because かわいそう is its own established word for pity. On paper, the stem かわい + そう would produce the same spelling, and that is exactly why Japanese speakers never use it for "looks cute": everyone hears "poor thing". To say something looks cute, use a different form.

その服ふく、かわいいね。 — That outfit is cute. (casual, the natural compliment) かわいく見みえる。 — It looks cute. (casual, "looks" with 見みえる)

The safest "looks cute" is かわいいね or かわいく見みえる. For the full picture of cute words, including this trap, see cute in Japanese. For the そう that means "looks like", see 〜そうです.

What other words express pity or sympathy?

What does 気の毒きのどく mean?

気の毒きのどく (きのどく) is a polite, adult word for "unfortunate" or "I'm sorry to hear that". It is used about other people's misfortune, especially in formal speech.

それはお気の毒きのどくに。 — I'm so sorry to hear that. (polite, sympathy) 事故じこに遭あったなんて、気の毒きのどくだ。 — It's unfortunate that they were in an accident. (neutral)

かわいそう can sound a little childish or even condescending about an adult; 気の毒きのどく is the grown-up choice.

What does 同情どうじょう mean?

同情どうじょう (どうじょう) means "sympathy" or "pity". 同情どうじょうする is "to sympathize".

彼かれの話はなしを聞きいて、同情どうじょうした。 — Hearing his story, I felt sympathy for him. (neutral) 同情どうじょうはいらない。 — I don't need your pity. (rough, proud, an anime line)

The second sentence shows why pity can sting. Many characters reject it.

What do 不憫ふびん and 哀あわれ mean?

不憫ふびん (ふびん) is "pitiful, deserving of compassion", a slightly literary word. 哀あわれ (あわれ) is "pitiful, wretched", often with a sense of sorrow or even scorn.

あの子こが不憫ふびんでならない。 — I can't help feeling sorry for that child. (literary, heartfelt)

Word Reading Meaning Tone
かわいそう かわいそう poor thing, pitiful everyday
かわいそうに かわいそうに poor thing! exclamation
気の毒きのどく きのどく unfortunate polite, adult
同情どうじょう どうじょう sympathy, pity neutral
不憫ふびん ふびん pitiful literary
哀あわれ あわれ wretched literary, can be scornful

Beyond the basics

Can かわいそう sound rude?

Yes. Calling an adult かわいそう to their face can sound condescending, as if you are looking down on them. It is safest about animals, children, and situations, or about yourself as a joke.

自分じぶんがかわいそうになってきた。 — I'm starting to feel sorry for myself. (casual, self-mocking)

For adults, 大変たいへんでしたね ("that must have been hard") is a kinder response.

それは大変たいへんでしたね。 — That must have been hard. (polite, the kind response)

How does かわいそう sound in anime?

It often appears as かわいそう… in a soft voice when a character sees an injured animal, or as a teasing かわいそうに when a rival loses. The teasing version is sarcastic: "aww, poor you". For sarcasm, see Japanese sarcasm.

Common mistakes

  • Using かわいそう to mean "looks cute". Say かわいいね or かわいく見みえる.
  • Calling an adult かわいそう to their face. It can sound condescending. Try 大変たいへんでしたね.
  • Using かわいそう in formal condolences. Use お気の毒きのどくに or ご愁傷様しゅうしょうさまです at a funeral.
  • Saying かわいそうの猫ねこ. It is a な-adjective: かわいそうな猫ねこ.
  • Offering 同情どうじょう when someone wants support. 同情どうじょう can feel like pity; 応援おうえんしてる (I'm rooting for you) is warmer.

Practice

Try each answer before opening it. Questions 3 and 4 are a pair: pity versus cute.

1. Say "The puppy was shivering in the rain; I felt so sorry for it."

Show answer

雨あめの中なかで、子犬こいぬが震ふるえていてかわいそうだった。 — かわいそう is "pitiful, sad to see".

2. A friend lost their wallet. React with sympathy in two words.

Show answer

かわいそうに。 — "Oh, poor you."

3. A puppy is lost and alone. Which word fits: かわいそう or かわいい?

Show answer

かわいそう — it is sad to see.

4. Your friend's new outfit is adorable. Compliment it.

Show answer

その服ふく、かわいいね。 — cute is かわいい, not かわいそう. This is the pair to question 3.

5. Say "It looks cute" correctly.

Show answer

かわいく見みえる。 — "looks" with 見みえる.

6. Respond politely to bad news about someone's accident.

Show answer

それはお気の毒きのどくに。 — 気の毒きのどく is the polite, adult word.

7. A proud rival refuses pity. What does he say?

Show answer

同情どうじょうはいらない。 — "I don't need your pity."

8. Fix: かわいそうの猫ねこ。

Show answer

かわいそうな猫ねこ。 — かわいそう is a な-adjective.

9. A coworker had a terrible week. Give a kind response instead of かわいそう.

Show answer

それは大変たいへんでしたね。 — kinder than calling them pitiful.

10. Joke about yourself: "I'm starting to feel sorry for myself."

Show answer

自分じぶんがかわいそうになってきた。 — self-mocking かわいそう.

FAQ

What does kawaisou mean? "Poor thing" or "pitiful". It expresses sympathy or pity.

Does かわいそう mean "looks cute"? No. It is a separate word. "Looks cute" is かわいく見みえる or just かわいいね.

What is the difference between かわいそう and 気の毒きのどく? かわいそう is everyday and can sound childish about adults. 気の毒きのどく is polite and adult.

Is かわいそう rude? It can be, if said to an adult's face. It is fine about animals, children, or situations.

What does かわいそうに mean? "Poor thing!" or "Poor you", a short exclamation of sympathy.

What does 同情どうじょう mean? Sympathy or pity. 同情どうじょうする is "to sympathize".

Vocabulary from this article

Tap the block to select all of it, then copy. In Anki: File → Import, note type Basic, separator Tab — the first column becomes the front, the second the back.

かわいそう	かわいそう — poor thing, pitiful
可哀想	かわいそう — pitiful (kanji spelling)
かわいい	かわいい — cute
気の毒	きのどく — unfortunate, a pity
同情	どうじょう — sympathy, pity
不憫	ふびん — pitiful (literary)
哀れ	あわれ — wretched, pitiful
震える	ふるえる — to shiver
子犬	こいぬ — puppy
留守番	るすばん — staying home alone
事故	じこ — accident
大変	たいへん — hard, tough

I'm Yuuki, a Japanese teacher based in Tokyo. I've taught on italki as a Top 1% teacher and watched over 1,500 anime. かわいそう is a word I have introduced while learners described a sad scene in a story, and the かわいい-plus-そう trap is the first thing I warn them about, before it turns a compliment into an unintended insult. For practice with feedback, Book a trial lesson · $13, or try the Japanese practice exercises first.

Sources: the author's own lessons and standard reference dictionaries.

More drills like the ones above, plus a timed JLPT-style mock test: Practice · N4 · Read something at this level: JLPT N4 stories with audio

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