LESSON NOTES · レッスンノート

N5Lesson notes · Oct 4, 2026

Married in Japanese: 結婚けっこんしています, not 結婚けっこんします (and why と, not を)

"I'm married" in Japanese is 結婚けっこんしています (けっこんしています). The verb is 結婚けっこんする, "to marry", and you marry someone with と: 彼女かのじょと結婚けっこんしました, "I married her". Be careful: 結婚けっこんします means "I will get married", not "I am married".

Marriage comes up early in Japanese conversation, usually as a simple question: 結婚けっこんしていますか? It is also one of the words learners get wrong most predictably, in two places: the ている form and the particle. Both mistakes make sense if you think in English, and both are easy to fix once you see why Japanese works the way it does. This post covers the core verb first, then the words around it, from 独身どくしん to 新婚しんこん to 俺おれの嫁よめ.

How do you say "married" in Japanese?

Why is it 結婚けっこんしています and not 結婚けっこんします?

Because 結婚けっこんする is a one-moment event, and ている describes the state that remains after it. 結婚けっこんします means the event is in the future: "I will marry". 結婚けっこんしています means the event already happened and you are now in the married state.

結婚けっこんしています。 — I'm married. (polite, the state now) 来年らいねん、結婚けっこんします。 — I'm getting married next year. (polite, a future event) 去年きょねん、結婚けっこんしました。 — I got married last year. (polite, the event in the past)

This is the same logic as 知しっています (I know) and 住すんでいます (I live in). If ている still feels slippery, our guide to the ている form explains the whole pattern, with 結婚けっこんしています as one of its main examples.

How do you ask "Are you married?"

Ask 結婚けっこんしていますか? The answers are はい、しています or いいえ、していません. Casually, among friends, you will hear 結婚けっこんしてる?

結婚けっこんしていますか? — Are you married? (polite, but personal, so choose the moment) いいえ、まだしていません。 — No, not yet. (polite, まだ makes it sound open)

A note on manners: in Japan this question is common between friends and coworkers, but it is still personal. Asking a stranger can feel intrusive, just as in many other places.

Why is it 〜と結婚けっこんする and not 〜を結婚けっこんする?

Because in Japanese you marry "with" someone, so the particle is と. English treats "marry" as something you do to a person: "I married her". Japanese treats it as something two people do together.

大学だいがくの友達ともだちと結婚けっこんしました。 — I married a friend from university. (polite, と marks the partner) 誰だれと結婚けっこんしたいですか? — Who do you want to marry? (polite, a playful question)

This is the single most common mistake with this word: 彼女かのじょを結婚けっこんしました sounds as strange to a Japanese ear as "I married with her" can sound in English.

What other marriage words should you know?

How do you say "single"?

独身どくしん (どくしん) means "single" or "unmarried". It is a noun, so you say 独身どくしんです.

兄あにはまだ独身どくしんです。 — My older brother is still single. (polite, describing family)

独身どくしん is about marital status, not dating. Someone with a partner but not married is still 独身どくしん. For "living together", see 同棲どうせい and 同居どうきょ.

What do 既婚きこん and 未婚みこん mean?

既婚きこん (きこん) is "married" and 未婚みこん (みこん) is "unmarried" in formal or written Japanese. You will see them on forms, in surveys and in job applications, usually as checkboxes.

既婚きこん・未婚みこんのどちらかに丸まるをつけてください。 — Please circle either married or unmarried. (formal, form instructions)

In conversation, people use 結婚けっこんしている and 独身どくしん instead. 既婚者きこんしゃ (きこんしゃ) means "a married person".

What is the word for "wedding"?

A wedding is 結婚式けっこんしき (けっこんしき), literally "marriage ceremony". The reception after it is 披露宴ひろうえん (ひろうえん).

来月らいげつ、友達ともだちの結婚式けっこんしきに行いきます。 — Next month I'm going to a friend's wedding. (polite, plans)

At the wedding, you say おめでとうございます; see congratulations in Japanese for what else to write in a card.

Engaged, newlyweds, divorced?

婚約こんやく (こんやく) is "engagement", 新婚しんこん (しんこん) is "newlywed", and 離婚りこん (りこん) is "divorce". They all share the 婚こん kanji, "marriage".

二人ふたりは婚約こんやくしています。 — The two of them are engaged. (polite, the engaged state, again with ている) まだ新婚しんこんなので、毎日まいにち楽たのしいです。 — We're still newlyweds, so every day is fun. (polite, happy) 両親りょうしんは離婚りこんしました。 — My parents got divorced. (polite, a past event)

A honeymoon is 新婚旅行しんこんりょこう (しんこんりょこう), "newlywed trip". 婚約指輪こんやくゆびわ (こんやくゆびわ) is an engagement ring, and 結婚指輪けっこんゆびわ (けっこんゆびわ) is a wedding ring.

Beyond the basics

What do 夫おっと, 妻つま, 旦那だんなさん and 奥おくさん mean?

夫おっと (おっと) and 妻つま (つま) are the neutral words for your own husband and wife. 旦那だんなさん (だんなさん) and 奥おくさん (おくさん) are the usual words for someone else's. This in-group and out-group split is the same one Japanese uses for family members.

妻つまは料理りょうりが上手じょうずです。 — My wife is a good cook. (polite, your own wife) 奥おくさんはお元気げんきですか? — How is your wife? (polite, someone else's wife)

In real conversation, many people also call their own spouse 旦那だんな or 嫁よめ (よめ) casually. Some people find these old-fashioned, so 夫おっと and 妻つま are the safest. For how this works with the rest of the family, see Japanese family words.

What does 入籍にゅうせき mean?

入籍にゅうせき (にゅうせき) is the legal registration of a marriage at the city office. In Japan the wedding party and the legal marriage are separate steps, so news reports often say a celebrity 入籍にゅうせきしました, meaning they are now legally married, even if there was no ceremony.

二人ふたりは先月せんげつ入籍にゅうせきしました。 — The two of them registered their marriage last month. (polite, news style)

What is バツイチ?

バツイチ is casual slang for someone who has been divorced once. バツ is the X mark, and イチ is "one": one X on the family register. バツニ means twice divorced. It is used about oneself with humor more often than about others.

実じつはバツイチなんです。 — Actually, I've been divorced once. (casual-polite, self-description)

Be careful using it about someone else. Said by the person themselves, it is light. Said about them, it can sound rude.

Why do anime fans say 俺おれの嫁よめ?

俺おれの嫁よめ (おれのよめ), "my wife", is fan slang for your favorite character, close to English "waifu". It is a joke, of course, and fans use it about characters of any type.

このキャラは俺おれの嫁よめだ。 — This character is my wife. (casual, fan joke)

Inside anime itself, the classic line is a direct proposal: 結婚けっこんしてください, "Please marry me", often delivered at the worst possible moment for comedy.

Quick reference

Word Reading Meaning Note
結婚けっこんする けっこんする to marry 〜と結婚けっこんする
結婚けっこんしている けっこんしている to be married state, uses ている
独身どくしん どくしん single 独身どくしんです
既婚きこん / 未婚みこん きこん / みこん married / unmarried forms, written
結婚式けっこんしき けっこんしき wedding 披露宴ひろうえん is the reception
婚約こんやく こんやく engagement 婚約こんやくしています
新婚しんこん しんこん newlywed 新婚旅行しんこんりょこう = honeymoon
離婚りこん りこん divorce 離婚りこんしました
入籍にゅうせき にゅうせき legal registration news language

Common mistakes

  • Saying 結婚けっこんします to mean "I am married". That means "I will marry". Use 結婚けっこんしています.
  • Using を for the partner. It is 〜と結婚けっこんする, "marry with".
  • Calling your own wife 奥おくさん. 奥おくさん is for someone else's wife. Use 妻つま for your own.
  • Answering 結婚けっこんしていますか with いいえ、しません. That sounds like "I will never marry". Say いいえ、していません.
  • Using バツイチ about someone else. It is fine about yourself and risky about others.

Practice

Try each answer before opening it. Questions 1 and 2 are a pair: the same verb, a state versus a future event.

1. Say "I'm married."

Show answer

結婚けっこんしています。 — 結婚けっこんする is a one-moment event, and ている shows the state after it.

2. Say "I'm getting married next year."

Show answer

来年らいねん、結婚けっこんします。 — the plain ます form points to the future event. This is the pair to question 1.

3. Fix the particle: 彼女かのじょを結婚けっこんしました。

Show answer

彼女かのじょと結婚けっこんしました。 — in Japanese you marry "with" someone, so the particle is と.

4. Someone asks 結婚けっこんしていますか? You are not married yet. Answer politely.

Show answer

いいえ、まだしていません。 — していません is the negative state. しません would sound like "I won't marry".

5. Say "My older brother is single."

Show answer

兄あには独身どくしんです。 — 独身どくしん is a noun for "single, unmarried".

6. On a form, which word means "married": 既婚きこん or 未婚みこん?

Show answer

既婚きこん — 既がい means "already". 未み means "not yet", so 未婚みこん is unmarried.

7. Ask a coworker politely, "How is your wife?"

Show answer

奥おくさんはお元気げんきですか? — 奥おくさん is for someone else's wife. Your own wife is 妻つま.

8. What is a honeymoon in Japanese?

Show answer

新婚旅行しんこんりょこう — literally "newlywed trip". 新婚しんこん means newlywed.

9. Say "The two of them are engaged."

Show answer

二人ふたりは婚約こんやくしています。 — like 結婚けっこん, 婚約こんやく is an event, so the state uses ている.

10. A news headline says a singer 入籍にゅうせきしました. What happened?

Show answer

They legally registered a marriage. — 入籍にゅうせき is the official registration, separate from the wedding party.

Use a trial lesson to say 結婚けっこんしています for your current status and 結婚けっこんしました for the day itself, using と for your partner, not を.

FAQ

How do you say "Are you married?" in Japanese? 結婚けっこんしていますか? (polite) or 結婚けっこんしてる? (casual). Answer with はい、しています or いいえ、していません.

What is the difference between 結婚けっこんします and 結婚けっこんしています? 結婚けっこんします is the future event, "will marry". 結婚けっこんしています is the present state, "am married".

Is it rude to ask if someone is married in Japan? It is personal. Friends and coworkers ask it, but with strangers or in formal settings it can feel intrusive.

What is the difference between 独身どくしん and 未婚みこん? Both mean unmarried. 独身どくしん is the everyday word, and 未婚みこん is formal and appears mostly on forms and in statistics.

What does 旦那だんな mean? Husband, used casually, often about one's own husband. 旦那だんなさん is the polite way to talk about someone else's husband.

What does 俺おれの嫁よめ mean in anime fandom? "My wife", a joking way to say a character is your favorite, close to "waifu".

Vocabulary from this article

Tap the block to select all of it, then copy. In Anki: File → Import, note type Basic, separator Tab — the first column becomes the front, the second the back.

結婚	けっこん — marriage
結婚する	けっこんする — to marry
結婚式	けっこんしき — wedding ceremony
披露宴	ひろうえん — wedding reception
独身	どくしん — single, unmarried
既婚	きこん — married (formal)
未婚	みこん — unmarried (formal)
既婚者	きこんしゃ — married person
婚約	こんやく — engagement
新婚	しんこん — newlywed
新婚旅行	しんこんりょこう — honeymoon
離婚	りこん — divorce
入籍	にゅうせき — legal registration of marriage
夫	おっと — (my) husband
妻	つま — (my) wife
旦那さん	だんなさん — (someone's) husband
奥さん	おくさん — (someone's) wife
結婚指輪	けっこんゆびわ — wedding ring
婚約指輪	こんやくゆびわ — engagement ring
バツイチ	バツイチ — divorced once (slang)
俺の嫁	おれのよめ — "my wife", fan slang for a favorite character

I'm Yuuki, a Japanese teacher based in Tokyo. I've taught on italki as a Top 1% teacher and watched over 1,500 anime. In beginner conversation practice, family and relationship questions come up early, and the 結婚けっこんします / 結婚けっこんしています mix-up is one I correct often, which is why this post leads with it. For practice with feedback, Book a trial lesson · $13, or try the Japanese practice exercises first.

Sources: the author's own lessons and standard reference dictionaries.

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