LESSON NOTES · レッスンノート

N3How you sound · Sep 28, 2026

へこむ (hekomu): to feel down, deflated by something specific

へこむ (hekomu) literally means "to dent" or "to cave in" — and casually, it means to feel down, deflated, or knocked back by a specific setback: a scolding, a bad grade, a breakup. It's light and conversational, describing a temporary emotional dip rather than deep or lasting sadness.

The image behind へこむ is exactly what it sounds like: something solid getting pushed in and losing its shape for a while, which is precisely how the word describes a person's mood after a blow.

The basics

へこむ: feeling down after a specific setback

へこむ almost always follows a clear, nameable cause — you usually へこむ because something specific happened that knocked your mood down. It's casual and very common in everyday conversation.

上司じょうしに怒おこられて、ちょっとへこんだ。 — I got scolded by my boss and felt a bit down about it. (casual, everyday complaint) テストの点数てんすうが悪わるくてへこんでいる。 — I'm feeling down because my test score was bad. (casual)

The causing event and the feeling are tightly linked — で or て form connects the setback directly to へこむ, making the cause-and-effect explicit.

The literal meaning behind the feeling: something physically caving in

へこむ's literal, physical meaning is "to dent" or "to become concave" — a car door, a can, or a cushion that's been pushed in keeps that same verb.

缶かんがへこんでしまった。 — The can got dented. (casual, literal physical use)

Keeping this literal image in mind makes the emotional meaning easier to remember: your mood, like the can, has been pushed in and lost its shape for a while — but, unlike the can, it's expected to pop back out.

Beyond the basics

へこむ vs 落ち込おちこむ: light and temporary vs deeper and more general

へこむ and 落ち込おちこむ (おちこむ, ochikomu) both mean "to feel down," but 落ち込おちこむ is the more neutral, general-purpose word and can describe deeper or longer-lasting sadness, while へこむ leans lighter and more temporary, closer to English "bummed out" than "depressed."

彼かれはミスをして落ち込おちこんでいる。 — He's feeling down/dejected after making a mistake. (neutral, works for a more serious dip too) 失恋しつれんして、しばらくへこんでいた。 — After a breakup, I was feeling down for a while. (casual, still implies it passed)

If you want to leave open the possibility of something more serious or longer-lasting, 落ち込おちこむ is the safer, more neutral choice; へこむ carries a built-in expectation that the dip is temporary and will bounce back — a lighter cousin of the disappointment covered in がっかり and 期待外きたいがいれ.

へこむ in casual, self-deprecating conversation among friends

へこむ shows up constantly in light, self-deprecating conversation between friends — both admitting your own mood took a hit and gently telling someone not to let something bother them too much.

そんなことでへこむなよ。 — Don't let something like that get you down. (casual, reassuring a friend) 傷きずつくことを言いわれて、へこんだ。 — I was hurt by what he said, and it got me down. (casual, combining with 傷きずつく)

Combining へこむ with 傷きずつく (きずつく, "to be hurt/wounded") is common — 傷きずつく names the emotional injury itself, while へこむ describes the resulting dip in mood.

Why anime and manga lean on へこむ for comic-relief sadness

へこむ is light enough to play for comic relief: a character visibly deflating (sometimes drawn shrinking or slumping) after a small setback is a classic beat, and へこむ is exactly the word for that quick, exaggerated dip that resolves itself a scene later. Another character may retort 大おおげさだよ at a slump drawn that big, and 大おおげさ versus 曖昧あいまい notes that 大おおげさ often criticizes a reaction, as in 大おおげさに反応はんのうする, "to overreact".

Common mistakes

  • Using へこむ to describe clinical depression or serious, lasting mental health struggles. へこむ is deliberately light — for anything more serious, different, more careful vocabulary and a different register entirely are appropriate.
  • Using へこむ for a heavy, long-lasting mood. へこむ is light and usually follows a trigger, though 最近さいきんなんかへこんでるんだよね is fine without a stated cause. For a heavier or vaguer mood use 落ち込おちこむ or 気分きぶんが沈しずむ. Do not use 気分きぶんが悪わるい: it means "I feel sick" (see how to say sick).
  • Forgetting the literal meaning still applies to objects. 缶かんがへこんだ (the can got dented) uses the exact same verb as the emotional meaning — context tells you which one is meant.
  • Treating へこむ as overly serious or formal. It's casual and conversational; a workplace report about someone's morale would reach for 落ち込おちこむ or more formal vocabulary instead.

へこむ vs 落ち込おちこむ vs 傷きずつく

Word Reading What it describes Weight
へこむ へこむ Feeling down, deflated (temporary) Light, casual
落ち込おちこむ おちこむ Feeling down (general, can be deeper) Neutral, can be serious
傷きずつく きずつく Being hurt, emotionally wounded Can be serious, names an injury
凹くぼむ へこむ Same word, kanji spelling Casual to neutral (either script)

FAQ

Is へこむ ever written in kanji? Yes — 凹くぼむ is the kanji form, though hiragana へこむ is at least as common in casual writing and texting.

Can へこむ describe someone else's mood, not just your own? Yes — 彼かれ、最近さいきんへこんでるみたい ("he seems down lately") works fine describing a friend's mood from the outside.

Is へこむ appropriate to use with a boss or in a formal context? Not really — it's casual conversational Japanese. In a formal or work context, 落ち込おちこんでいるようです ("seems to be feeling down") is the safer, more neutral phrasing.

What's a good way to cheer someone up after they say they're へこんでいる? 気きにしないで ("don't worry about it") or 元気げんきを出だして ("cheer up") are the natural, casual responses to someone admitting they're へこんでいる.

Can へこむ describe positive surprises, like being emotionally "hit" by good news? No — へこむ is specifically negative, describing a dip after a setback. Positive emotional impact uses entirely different words, like 感動かんどうする ("to be moved/touched").

Practice

1. "I got scolded by my boss and felt a bit down about it."

Show answer

上司じょうしに怒おこられて、ちょっとへこんだ。 — the scolding and the feeling are directly linked with て form.

2. "I'm feeling down because my test score was bad."

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テストの点数てんすうが悪わるくてへこんでいる。 — へこんでいる describes the ongoing state of feeling down.

3. "The can got dented." (literal meaning)

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缶かんがへこんでしまった。 — the same verb used for its original, physical meaning.

4. "He's feeling down/dejected after making a mistake." (more neutral, possibly deeper)

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彼かれはミスをして落ち込おちこんでいる。 — 落ち込おちこむ is the more general, neutral word, appropriate for a possibly deeper dip.

5. "After a breakup, I was feeling down for a while."

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失恋しつれんして、しばらくへこんでいた。 — しばらく (for a while) still implies the dip passed, matching へこむ's temporary flavor.

6. "Don't let something like that get you down."

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そんなことでへこむなよ。 — a common, casual way to reassure a friend.

7. "I was hurt by what he said, and it got me down." (combine with 傷きずつく)

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傷きずつくことを言いわれて、へこんだ。 — 傷きずつく names the injury; へこむ describes the resulting mood dip.

8. Fix this: 彼かれは長年ながねんうつ病びょうでへこんでいる。 (should use more serious, careful vocabulary, not a light casual word)

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彼かれは長年ながねんうつ病びょうで苦くるしんでいる。 — clinical depression calls for careful, serious vocabulary like 苦くるしんでいる, not the light, casual へこむ.

Vent about a bad test score or a small failure with へこむ in a trial lesson, and add 気きにしない to cheer yourself up.

Vocabulary from this article

Tap the block to select all of it, then copy. In Anki: File → Import, note type Basic, separator Tab — the first column becomes the front, the second the back.

へこむ	へこむ — to feel down, deflated (also: to dent)
落ち込む	おちこむ — to feel down (general, can be deeper)
傷つく	きずつく — to be hurt, emotionally wounded
気にしない	きにしない — don't worry about it
元気を出す	げんきをだす — to cheer up
怒られる	おこられる — to get scolded
失恋する	しつれんする — to go through a breakup
凹む	へこむ — dented, caved in (kanji form)
点数	てんすう — a score, points
苦しむ	くるしむ — to suffer

I'm Yuuki, a Japanese teacher based in Tokyo. I've taught on italki as a Top 1% teacher and watched over 1,500 anime, and へこむ is one of the words I teach earliest for casual venting — it's light enough to use about a bad test score without sounding overly dramatic.

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Sources: the author's own lessons and standard reference grammars.

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