LESSON NOTES · レッスンノート

Lesson notes · Oct 28, 2026

Relatable in Japanese: 共感きょうかんできる (kyoukan dekiru), わかる, and あるある — three ways to say "I feel that

Relatable in Japanese is 共感きょうかんできる (きょうかんできる) when you can understand and go along with someone's feelings or way of thinking, and in casual speech people just say わかる or あるある — which one is right depends on which kind of "relatable" you mean.

English uses one word for three different things, and Japanese tends to use a different word for each (they overlap, so treat this as a guide, not a wall):

  • "I get where they're coming from" → 共感きょうかんできる (feelings or views)
  • "I got pulled into that character or story and felt it as my own" → 感情移入かんじょういにゅうできる
  • "That's so typical for people in that situation" → あるある (a shared, typical situation)

The rest of the ladder (わかる, 刺ささる, 身みにつまされる) are variations on these three. This article lays them out, then covers the part learners get wrong most often: saying that you can not relate, and explaining why.

The basics

What does 共感きょうかんできる mean?

共感きょうかんできる is the potential form of 共感きょうかんする, "to empathize with". It means you can understand and go along with someone's feeling or way of thinking, without necessarily feeling the identical emotion. 共感きょうかん (きょうかん) is also the noun for empathy, so 共感きょうかんを呼よぶ means "to draw empathy" for a song or a post that resonates with many people. Use it in a review, an essay, or polite conversation.

この歌詞かしに共感きょうかんできる人ひとは多おおいと思おもう。 — I think a lot of people can relate to these lyrics. (neutral, review tone) 彼女かのじょの悔くやしさに共感きょうかんできました。 — I could relate to her frustration. (neutral-polite, the feeling takes に)

The thing you relate to takes に: 気持きもち, 悔くやしさ, 考え方かんがえかた.

What if I want to say I saw myself in a character?

Say 感情移入かんじょういにゅうできる (かんじょういにゅうできる). 感情移入かんじょういにゅう means getting pulled into a character or story and feeling it as your own, which is often the closest match when an English speaker says "I really related to the protagonist". The two overlap, but 共感きょうかん is about going along with a feeling or view, while 感情移入かんじょういにゅう is about being pulled into a person.

主人公しゅじんこうに感情移入かんじょういにゅうして、最後さいごは泣ないてしまった。 — I got so into the protagonist that I cried at the end. (casual-neutral, about a story)

What do people actually say in casual conversation?

They say わかる. It is the plain form of "I understand", but as a standalone reaction it means "I feel that" or "same". Said with a long, drawn-out tone, わかる〜 is the everyday reaction when a friend describes a feeling you share.

「月曜げつようの朝あさ、起おきたくない」「わかる〜」 — "I don't want to get up on Monday mornings." "Totally." (casual, between friends)

Online you will also see わかりみ, youth and internet slang derived from わかる, and わかりみが深ふかい, roughly "I relate so strongly". Usage varies by generation and setting, so keep it for friends and comment sections.

What is あるある?

あるある is the "that's so typical for people like us" kind of relatable. It is a set expression for something that often happens within a certain group or situation. Attach it to the group and you get a whole genre of jokes: 学生がくせいあるある, 社会人しゃかいじんあるある, オタクあるある.

テスト前まえに急きゅうに部屋へやを掃除そうじしたくなるの、学生がくせいあるあるだよね。 — Suddenly wanting to clean your room right before a test is such a classic student thing. (casual, shared-experience humor)

あるある is about a situation, not one person's feeling, which is why it differs from わかる (a reaction to a feeling).

Beyond the basics

How do all these words fit together?

Think of it as a ladder from careful to slangy. Two more words sit on it. 身みにつまされる (みにつまされる) is when you hear about someone else's hardship and feel it as if it were yours. 刺ささる (ささる) is slang for "that hit me right in the chest".

Word Register Use it when…
共感きょうかんできる / 共感きょうかんする Neutral to formal You understand and go along with someone's feeling or view, in a review or polite conversation
感情移入かんじょういにゅうできる Neutral You got pulled into a character or story and felt it as your own
わかる Casual Reacting out loud to a friend's feeling: "same"
わかりみ / わかりみが深ふかい Slang (online) A jokey, strong "I relate so much" in chat or comments
あるある Casual Pointing at something typical for a group or situation: 〜あるある
身みにつまされる Literary, somewhat formal Hearing about someone's hardship makes it feel like your own
刺ささる Slang A song, line, ad, or post hit you personally

うちも人手不足ひとでぶそくで苦労くろうしているので、その話はなしは身みにつまされる。 — We're short-staffed and struggling too, so that story hits close to home. (slightly literary, shows the personal link) あのセリフ、めちゃくちゃ刺ささった。 — That line hit me so hard. (casual slang, about a line in a show or song)

刺ささる is about you being affected. A line can 刺ささる even when the character who said it is nothing like you.

What are the fan reactions in comment sections?

You will see わかる〜 and それな ("so true", casual agreement) as replies to someone describing a feeling or a meme. When a meme shows a situation everyone knows, あるあるw is common (the w is laughter). 尊とうとい (とうとい) sits nearby in the same threads, but it is not relatable. It is fan slang for "so precious I can barely stand it", used for characters, a relationship between them, a scene, or a whole work.

(友達ともだちの「今日きょうも眠ねむい」という投稿とうこうに)それな〜 — (replying to a friend's "sleepy again today") So true. (casual, a reply to a shared feeling) このシーン、尊とうとい… — This scene is too precious. (casual, fan slang, not about relating)

Is お前まえにはわからない the opposite of relatable?

Not quite. When an anime character says お前まえにはわからない, they are telling someone else that the listener can't possibly understand. That is a dramatic line aimed at a person, not a way for you to say you can't relate to a character.

お前まえには、俺おれの気持きもちはわからない。 — You'll never understand how I feel. (rough, dramatic, rival or villain speech)

The idea is related, though: the speaker is refusing to be related to. For your own reaction as a viewer, you need 共感きょうかんできない or 感情移入かんじょういにゅうできない.

How do I say a character is not relatable?

Use 共感きょうかんできない, which can also mean you can't accept the character's values or way of thinking. Use 感情移入かんじょういにゅうできない if you couldn't get pulled into the character. Both pair with a reason before から or ので.

主人公しゅじんこうの行動こうどうには共感きょうかんできなかった。 — I couldn't relate to the protagonist's actions. (neutral-polite, review tone) 悪役あくやくの過去かこには同情どうじょうするけど、共感きょうかんはできない。 — I feel sorry about the villain's past, but I can't relate. (neutral, the contrast is deliberate)

Can I explain why something isn't relatable?

Yes. Put the reason clause first and close it with から, then say the reaction you mean. The reason has to match the verb: a missing feeling explains 共感きょうかんできない, a missing motive explains 応援おうえんできない, a sudden action explains 納得なっとくできない.

主人公しゅじんこうの気持きもちが描えがかれていないから、共感きょうかんできない。 — I can't relate because the protagonist's feelings aren't shown. (neutral-polite, an emotional reaction) 動機どうきがわからないから、応援おうえんできない。 — I can't root for him because I don't understand his motive. (neutral-polite, about rooting for a character) 行動こうどうが急きゅうすぎて、納得なっとくできない。 — Their actions are so sudden that I can't buy it. (neutral-polite, a logical reaction)

応援おうえんできない ("I can't root for them") is the sibling of 共感きょうかんできない. You can relate to someone without wanting them to win, and the reverse is also true.

As a learning guideline (not an exclusive rule): 共感きょうかんできない leans emotional, "I can't go along with their feelings or values", while 納得なっとくできない leans logical, "it doesn't add up for me". A character can be believable and still not relatable, and a relatable character can do something that makes no sense.

気持きもちはわかるけど、あの決断けつだんには納得なっとくできない。 — I understand how she feels, but I can't accept that decision. (neutral, feeling versus logic in one sentence)

If you want to push back on someone else's opinion rather than a character, how to disagree politely in Japanese has the softening phrases. For the short reactions that keep a conversation moving, see なるほど and the other ways to say "I see" and Japanese filler words.

Common mistakes

  • Saying 同情どうじょう when you mean empathy. 同情どうじょう (どうじょう) is sympathy: you feel sorry for someone from the outside, and depending on tone it can sound like looking down on them. 共感きょうかん is going along with their feeling or view. 彼女かのじょの苦労くろうに共感きょうかんする means "I relate to her struggle"; 彼女かのじょの苦労くろうに同情どうじょうする means "I feel sorry about her struggle".
  • Using 同期どうき or 共有きょうゆう for "relate". Learners reviewing a show sometimes say キャラに同期どうきできない or 共有きょうゆうできない, probably from "sync" and "share". 同期どうき is technical (syncing data) and 共有きょうゆう means sharing a file or information. Use 共感きょうかんできない.
  • Translating "can relate" as 関係かんけいできる. 関係かんけい means "relationship" or "connection", and in this meaning 関係かんけいできる is not said. Use 共感きょうかんできる.
  • Using 説得せっとく when you mean 納得なっとく. 説得せっとく (せっとく) is "to persuade someone", something done to another person. If a story didn't convince you, say 納得なっとくできなかった. 説得せっとくされなかった sounds like someone argued with you and failed.
  • Using わかる with a formal audience. To a teacher or customer, plain わかります only shows understanding. To show sympathy, say お気持きもち、よくわかります (「お気持きもち、よくわかります」), or 共感きょうかんします in a review.

Practice

Build each answer before opening it. Questions 5 and 6 are a pair — the same character, two different verbs.

1. You are writing a polite review. Say "I could relate to the heroine's loneliness."

Show answer

ヒロインの孤独こどくに共感きょうかんできました。 — neutral-polite 共感きょうかんできる; the thing you relate to takes に.

2. A friend says they hate getting up on cold mornings, and you feel the same. What is the short casual reaction?

Show answer

わかる〜 — a casual reaction to a feeling, fine between friends.

3. Someone posts a joke about everyone leaving their packing until the last minute before a trip. Which word labels it as a typical-situation joke?

Show answer

あるある — it labels a typical situation, as in 旅行りょこうあるある.

4. You heard about someone's long, unpaid overtime and it felt like your own life. Which literary phrase fits?

Show answer

身みにつまされる — someone else's hardship feels like your own; 共感きょうかんできる lacks that "close to home" sense.

5. You feel sorry for a character, but you don't share their feelings. Which verb says "I pity them"?

Show answer

同情どうじょうする — you feel sorry for them from the outside. Pair to question 6.

6. Now you understand and go along with the character's feelings. Which verb?

Show answer

共感きょうかんする — you go along with their feelings rather than pitying them.

7. A learner says キャラに共有きょうゆうできない to mean "I can't relate to the character". What should it be?

Show answer

キャラに共感きょうかんできない — 共有きょうゆう is for sharing files or information.

8. The plot made a villain suddenly turn good with no setup, and you aren't convinced. Do you say 共感きょうかんできない or 納得なっとくできない?

Show answer

納得なっとくできない — the problem is logic (no setup), not feelings.

9. Say "I can't root for him because I don't understand his goal."

Show answer

目的もくてきがわからないから、応援おうえんできない。 — reason clause, から, then 応援おうえんできない.

10. A customer tells you about a frustrating delay and you want to show sympathy politely. What do you say?

Show answer

お気持きもち、よくわかります。 — plain わかります shows understanding only; お気持きもち adds sympathy.

During a trial lesson, explain in Japanese why a character in a show you like is or isn't relatable, using から and 共感きょうかんできる or 納得なっとくできない.

FAQ

Is わかりみ okay to say at work? Usually not. It is youth and internet slang and sounds jokey in most workplaces. Use 共感きょうかんします or お気持きもち、よくわかります instead.

Can I use 共感きょうかん for songs and ads? Yes. 共感きょうかんを呼よぶ歌うた ("a song that draws empathy") is common, and 刺ささる is the casual slang for something that hit you personally.

Does あるある ever sound negative? It can, depending on tone. About a bad habit it is usually a self-deprecating joke between friends, but aimed at a stranger it can sound like mockery.

Is there a fixed opposite of あるある? No. People choose by situation: そんなことはない ("that doesn't happen"), 珍めずらしい ("that's rare"), or ないない ("no way") in casual speech.

Vocabulary from this article

Tap the block to select all of it, then copy. In Anki: File → Import, note type Basic, separator Tab.

共感	きょうかん — empathy
共感する	きょうかんする — to empathize, to relate
感情移入	かんじょういにゅう — getting pulled into a character or story
同情	どうじょう — sympathy, pity
わかる	わかる — to understand; "I feel that" (casual reaction)
わかりみ	わかりみ — "I relate so much" (internet slang)
あるある	あるある — "so typical" (shared-experience joke)
身につまされる	みにつまされる — to feel someone's hardship as your own
刺さる	ささる — to hit home, to strike a chord (slang)
納得	なっとく — being convinced, acceptance
説得	せっとく — persuasion
応援	おうえん — cheering on, support
尊い	とうとい — "so precious" (fan slang)
動機	どうき — motive

I'm Yuuki, a Japanese teacher based in Tokyo. I've taught on italki as a Top 1% teacher and watched over 1,500 anime, so most of the example sentences on this blog come from lines I've actually heard students ask about. For practice with feedback, Book a trial lesson · $13, or work through Japanese practice exercises first.

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Sources: the author's own lessons and standard reference grammars.

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